


Wherever There Are Birds, There Is Hope

by StarSparkle2403



Series: Flock Mentality [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Body Modification, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Deaf Clint Barton, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Plucking, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Esteem Issues, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony to the rescue, Wingfic, mentions of torture, preening
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2019-06-09 15:25:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15270474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarSparkle2403/pseuds/StarSparkle2403
Summary: Tony and Steve have went through hell and survived.They came back alive, but not entirely whole.





	1. Of New Wings And Old

Tony had always been proud of his wings. They were a dark red at the base and on the back, then faded down to a soft pink on the underside. A deep black colored his primaries and the tips of his secondaries.

People were always surprised when they saw the undersides of his wings. They didn’t expect such a powerful man to have such a feminine color.

Tony didn’t care. He liked his wings, and no one would be able to change that.

Not even the Ten Rings.

{+}

One of the worst punishments a person could be subjected to was a wing plucking. It was illegal in almost every country due to the emotional trauma and lasting health problems associated with it.

The only thing worse than plucking was complete wing removal. Unfortunately, it wasn’t illegal because sometimes, doctors just can’t save someone’s wing.

Along with waterboarding, electrocution, and starvation, the Ten Rings did both on a regular basis.

{+}

Yinsen’s wings were already gone by the time Tony was brought to the cave. All he had left were ragged stumps that were extremely tender. The men that were tasked with guarding the prisoners thought it was funny to slap Yinsen on the back just to see his pain-filled expression.

Yinsen was a walking warning, cautioning people to do as the Ten Rings told them to do.

Tony was never one to listen to warnings.

The first time he refused to build the Jericho missile, they kindly treated him to a dunk headfirst into a bucket of water.

Every time he refused after that, they plucked out a few of his flight feathers. Soon, he didn’t have any left, and everyone knew that the next time he refused, he would lose a wing.

He finally agreed to build it out of fear for his wings and because he had a plan brewing in the back of his mind.

The suit of armor might have saved his life, but the set of wings he designed for Yinsen would have been his greatest achievement. Yinsen never got his second set of wings.

Tony got out of that cave with his life and wings intact. The plans for Yinsen’s wings were safely tucked in his shirt, right next to the arc reactor. He made himself a vow that he wouldn’t sell any more weapons, and he would protect the people who couldn’t protect themselves. 

He would make sure Yinsen didn’t die in vain.

{+}

Being able to fly with the suit was all well and good, but it would never feel as good as flying without the help of the stabilizers. Tony knew his flight feathers would never grow back, not with all the damage done to them. Then he got an idea.

Why not build new feathers?

After all, he had enough gold-titanium alloy, and he had built a whole mechanized suit of armor. How hard could it be?

{+}

Very hard, as it turns out.

He had to make sure every feather was the same weight as the feather it corresponded to on the other side, make sure they were all shaped exactly correct so that they overlapped comfortably and the wind caught them the right way, and find a way to actually attach them to his wings.

Eventually, with the help of JARVIS, he got the feathers done and began painstakingly attaching them to his wings. Emphasis on the pain.

The only way to get the feathers to stay on his body was to insert them into his skin and then let them heal. That meant that there was a lot of blood. Also, he probably should have checked his schedule before he started the process.

{+}

Pepper found him sitting on the couch in his workshop, gently cleaning his wings while the bots scrubbed the floor to get rid of the blood before it started to stain. She, understandably, freaked out a little.

After Tony explained what he had done, she was quiet for a bit before saying, “That was stupid, even for you, and you better show them to me when they’re fully healed.” With that said, she turned around and left, but not without leaving a stack of paperwork behind.

{+}

It took a long time, but they did heal. 

And they were stunning.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Steve’s wings were way too big for him when he was younger. He would always trip over them or knock into things, he wasn’t strong enough to fly with them, and holding them close to his body made his shoulders ache.

On the bright side, they made a really good blanket.

{+}

Bucky liked to say that Steve’s wings were pretty.

Steve liked to say Bucky was crazy. Bucky’s wings were gorgeous, but Steve’s weren’t.

Bucky’s wings resembled those of a black and white warbler. His wingbacks were black with white stripes and the undersides were a soft gray with white highlights. They were the softest things Steve had ever felt, but they were sturdy, and allowed Bucky to execute some of the toughest aerial maneuvers.

Steve’s were just brown and white with a little blue. They were nothing special.

“Steve. Shut up,” Bucky said when Steve told him that one day. “They are amazing.” Bucky turned around and looked at Steve. “Now get over here and let me clean those wings of yours. They’ve got dirt in them.”

As Steve settled in, he thought back to all the things his mom and Bucky had said about his wings.

“When you were younger, I used to think you would never get color on your undersides. After that, I thought that they would just be that white forever. Then your speckles started to show up, and everyone admired them.”

“Girls love color, Stevie, and that blue on your wings? They’ll go crazy for it.”

“Baby blue, just like your eyes.”

“They’re gorgeous, sweetheart.”

If only Steve could believe it.

{+}

Steve had hoped that Project Rebirth would change his wings.

It didn’t.

{+}

After the ice, Steve was cold all the time.

It was the first time he was ever grateful for his wings. He wrapped them around himself every chance he got, which, unfortunately, wasn’t very often.

Between missions for SHIELD and history lessons on the helicarrier, he didn’t have much time to himself. He sometimes wished that he could just skip the lessons, but he didn’t have anyone else to help explain this time period to him, so what choice did he have?

{+}

Steve wasn’t proud of it. He was just so stressed that he didn’t realize he was doing it until it was too late.

Now he couldn't stop.

At least his heightened healing meant no one noticed, and he’d like to keep it that way.


	2. Steve's Secret

Steve was terrified when he moved into Avengers Tower. 

They would find out. He knew they would.

JARVIS already knew. He had caught Steve a few days after he had settled in. 

“Captain Rogers?” JARVIS said once after a particularly bad day. “I know it isn’t my business, but I think you should tell someone what is going on. Your stress levels are much too high even for a superhuman like you.”

Steve just stared down at his wings vacantly and replied, “I’m fine, JARVIS. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Alright,” JARVIS murmured, somehow sounding worried.

A few moments passed before Steve whispered, “I’m fine.”

It sounded more like he was trying to convince himself.

{+}

Tony knew something was up with Steve.

He saw Natasha around the Tower more than he saw Steve, and when he did, Steve seemed tense.

He was acting like Tony did when…

Oh.

{+}

“Hey, Cap?”

Steve pulled his wings behind his back as Tony walked into his room. _“Did JARVIS tell him?”_ he thought.

“Hi, Tony,” he said nervously. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” Tony replied, stepping into the room. He noticed that Steve was carefully keeping his front to Tony. 

_“It has something to do with his wings,”_ Tony realised.

“I’ve been working on a new outfit for you,” he said, looking away from Steve in an attempt to get him to relax. “I need you to come down so I can get the right measurements.”

“I can do that,” Steve said, relaxing slightly when he saw Tony turn away from him. He hadn’t really spent any time with Tony since the Chitauri invasion, so maybe this was his chance. “When do you want me to come down?”

“We can go now, if you’re free,” Tony replied, heading for the door, glancing at Steve as he did. Steve turned quickly, but Tony caught a glimpse of his wings.

 _“My God.”_ Tony fought to keep his face neutral. _“What the hell happened to them?”_

“You coming?” Tony asked out loud. Steve nodded and followed him.

As they walked to the elevator, Tony began to tell Steve all the new features he planned on including in Steve’s uniform. All the while, he was wondering how Steve’s wings had gotten to be that ragged. They had been smooth and shiny and absolutely gorgeous the last time Tony had seen him. And that was just two hours ago.

{+}

Steve was freaking out.

Why did he agree to this? Tony was going to have to get close to get his measurements, and that meant he would see his wings, and his wings wouldn’t be healed by then and-

“Steve, can you hear me?

Steve looked up. Why was he on the floor? And why can’t he breathe?

Tony was kneeling in front of him, one hand outstretched. He picked up one of Steve’s hands and placed it on his chest.

“Hey, calm down. Focus on my heartbeat,” Tony said. “Breathe with me, Steve.”

Steve focused on the steady beat of the other man’s heart and felt his panic begin to abate. His head dropped onto the other man’s shoulder and he leaned his weight on Tony, completely and utterly exhausted. Tony’s hand came up to cup the back of his head and his other arm wrapped around Steve’s back.

“Why don’t we get you to bed? You could probably use a nap,” Tony murmured. He pulled Steve up and led him back to his bedroom. Steve curled up on the bed when they got there and fell straight to sleep.

{+}

 _“This is probably getting creepy,”_ Tony thought as he watched Steve sleep.

He glanced at Steve’s wings that were stretched out across the bed. Almost without realising it, he reached out and ran his fingers through the feathers.

 _“They’re so soft.”_ His fingers hit a bald spot and he recoiled. _“What the…”_

He examined Steve’s wings carefully and found that clumps of them were new feathers or ones that were just growing in.

“Oh, Steve,” Tony murmured. He resolved to talk to Steve when he woke up, but until then, he would straighten out the feathers that were still there.

It was the least he could do.


	3. Tony Has A Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony makes a decision and Steve is confused.

Steve woke to someone preening his wings.

For a second he thought that he was back in his old apartment that he shared with Bucky, but then he remembered that he could never go back there again. The compulsion to pluck his feathers came back, and he had his fingers buried in his wings before he could stop himself.

“Hey, Steve, it’s okay,” a voice said, gently pulling his hand away. Red and gold wings wrapped around him, metal tips cool against his skin.

“Tony?”

The wings shifted, wrapping around him tighter. “Yeah,” Tony replied. “Go back to sleep. Regrowing feathers must take a lot out of you.”

Steve closed his eyes, drifting off quickly in the safety of another’s wings.

{+}

Tony didn’t know what to do.

He knew that he someone needed to talk to Steve about this, but he didn’t think it should be him. After all, he wasn’t known to be the most sensitive person in the world.

But he didn’t want to make Steve tell anyone else if he didn’t want to.

What was he going to do?

{+}

Tony had a plan.

Studies showed that the primary causes of wing plucking was stress or loneliness, and God knows Steve has both in spades.

Tony was going to fix that.

{+}

The next time Steve woke up, there was someone laying on him.

He might have panicked a little before realising that it was only Tony. They might have gotten off on the wrong foot, but Steve would trust Tony with his life.

Plus he was really warm, and it felt nice after dreaming about the ice.

Soft feathers brushed against his own, smoothing the ruffled patches on his wings. Tony was a welcome weight on his chest, pressing him slightly into the bed.

Steve had never felt safer.

{+}

When they had shared an apartment, Steve and Bucky had slept in the same bed.

It wasn’t sexual or romantic in any way, but a way to stay warm during the winter. It also helped to ease Bucky’s fear that Steve might pass away in the night and he wouldn’t know until morning.

On days when Steve’s lungs weren’t acting up, Bucky would lay on top of him, his wings wrapping around them both, and it was the most wonderful feeling to Steve. Those were some of the few times he was warm all the way through.

They hadn’t done that since Project Rebirth.

{+}

The third time Steve woke up, he was alone.

A spike of panic sliced through his sleepy haze and he shot upright. _“Oh god,”_ he thought. _“Tony knows about my wings.”_

His hand was on its way to his right wing when Tony peeked in the door. “Oh, Capsicle, you’re awake!” he said with a smile. He came into the room, carrying a tray of food. “I made you breakfast. And by ‘made’ I mean I got JARVIS to order take out.”

The smile stayed on his face as he set the tray in Steve’s lap and sat next to him. Steve was very confused. He had expected the other man to be disgusted with him, but he hadn’t expected… this.

“Well, eat up,” Tony prompted, stealing a piece of bacon. “Growing Steves need sustenance.”

Steve stared at him for a second before picking up the fork. He ate quietly, letting Tony fill the silence with chatter about the new projects he was working on. Their wings brushed occasionally, and for the first time since he was unfrozen, Steve felt content.


	4. Clint's Story

Clint didn’t know what to make of Steve and Tony’s relationship.

At first, they didn’t really get along, but lately, they had seemed all… coupley. 

They were spending all their time together, and Tony was being really cuddly. Well, even more cuddly than usual.

Clint watched as Tony came into the room, wings drooping onto the ground. He flopped onto the couch and over Steve’s lap.

“Steeeve. Cuddle me.”

Steve chuckled and ran a hand through Tony’s hair. “You’re sure bossy today.” Tony just grumbled in reply. “Come here then.” Steve pulled Tony up until he was sitting squarely in his lap. His wings wrapped squarely around them both, flight feathers stretching out and feathers ruffling.

That was when Clint noticed something disturbing. _“Those feathers weren’t gone this morning,”_ he thought. His eyes widened. _“Oh, Steve.”_

{+}

Clint hopped up on the back of the couch and straightened a few of the feathers at the base of Steve’s wing.

Steve jolted, head snapping up from where it had been bent over his sketchpad. “What the hell are you doing?” he asked incredulously.

“Shhhh, just let it happen.”

Steve eyed him suspiciously, but let Clint do what he wanted. He eventually relaxed as Clint began preening his wings and stretched them out so Clint could reach the undersides.

Clint was surprised at the state of them.

“Your wings are really soft,” Clint marveled, running a hand through the feathers.

“Yeah,” Steve murmured sleepily. “Tony preened them this morning.”

The movement of Clint’s hands stopped for a second as he processed that. “Tony, huh?”

Steve smiled. “He insisted, and you know how Tony is when he gets his mind on something.”

Clint snorted. “Do I ever.”

His fingers hit a small rough spot under one of the feathers. He moved the feather aside and saw a tiny scar. _“I was right,”_ he thought with a sigh. Clint finished preening Steve’s wings, then slid off the couch to sit in front of him on the floor.

“My turn,” he said. Steve tentatively touched Clint’s wings before burying his hands in pale purple feathers. Clint spread his wings out, subtly guiding Steve to the barred undersides.

Clint could tell when Steve found what he wanted him to see. “Clint?” Steve said, voice breaking and fingers rubbing over the small scar.

“Keep going,” Clint murmured. Steve started preening his wings again as Clint began his story.

“Back before I started working for SHIELD, I was in the circus.”

“Really?” Steve interrupted.

“Yes, now shush. It wasn’t your average circus, though. It was made up of criminals and fugitives, and I was just a kid. Not everything was horrible. I learned how to shoot, at least. Time went by and eventually, my mentor and B- my brother decided to “include” me in one of their schemes.” 

Clint shook his head and scowled. “I was stupid. I should have seen what was coming from a mile away, but I didn’t. I got permanent hearing loss for my trouble, and lost the only family I had. They weren’t a good family, but they were something.”

“What happened after that?” asked Steve quietly.

“I started taking jobs that were way over the line,” Clint replied. “Everyone wants their own personal sniper, you know?” Steve just looked at him in concern and rubbed the back of his neck.

Clint looked down at the floor. “I may have been around people the entire time, but I had never been so alone.” He turned to look up at Steve. “I think you know how that feels.”

Steve had tears in his eyes as he wrapped his wings around them both. “I didn’t think that anyone else- I mean- anyone I knew-”

Clint pushed himself up onto his knees and wrapped his arms around Steve’s middle. “It’s alright, man. Just let it out.”

Tears streamed from Steve’s eyes as he hunched over, wings drawing tighter around them.

“Thank you,” he choked out between sobs.

“There’s no need to thank me. I’m here for you. We all are.”


	5. Steve Will (Not) Be Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really short, but it's more of a transitional chapter than anything else.

The roof had always been Steve’s favorite place to go when he wanted to think. He would lay on his back and stare up at the sky, trying to get his thoughts in order.

_“I’m here for you. We all are.”_

Clint’s words were still spinning in his mind two days after their talk.

Well, Clint talked. Steve just cried like a baby.

 _“Are they? Are they all here for me?”_ Steve thought. He doubted it. _“And if they are, should I tell them?”_

Bruce was less sensitive than people gave him credit for, and often told everyone the truth, even if it wasn’t something they wanted to hear. Also, even though he said he didn’t have the temperament to be a therapist, he knew a whole lot about different mental illnesses. Steve was scared that he would think of him as more of a patient than as a friend.

Steve never knew what Natasha was thinking. She had shown them all her softer side in the time they had been a team, but she still kept her distance from them most of the time. Telling her could have a hundred different results, and not many of them were great.

Thor wasn’t from this planet, so he probably wouldn’t understand the ramifications of what Steve was doing and most likely wouldn’t judge him. That isn’t to say that he wouldn’t find Steve strange. After all, Asgardians still had wings, and Thor kept his in amazing shape.

 _“I can’t tell them,”_ Steve decided. _“I have Tony and Clint. I’ll be fine. The others don’t need to know.”_

{+}

Steve wasn’t okay.

Clint and Tony were doing their best to calm him down, but it wasn’t working.

They had both draped their wings over his shaking form and wrapped their arms around him, since he seemed to calm down a bit when they did.

They locked eyes over Steve’s head and Clint nodded before extracting himself and leaving. Steve whimpered at the loss of contact. Tony shushed him and pulled him closer.

“Hey, Steve, it’s okay. I’m here,” he murmured, guiding Steve’s head to rest on his shoulder.

“Don’t leave,” Steve whispered shakily, gripping his shirt. “Please don’t leave.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

A few minutes later Clint came back into the room, Thor behind him. Clint must have already explained the situation, because Thor didn’t say anything as he came over and pulled Steve to his feet.

Steve was in no shape to walk, so Thor carried him into Steve’s bedroom and laid him on the bed. He didn’t bother to dislodge Steve’s grip on his arm, laying down beside him instead.

Clint slid in on Steve’s other side and, for lack of more space, Tony sprawled on top of Steve. Thor covered them all in his great wings, and Steve slowly stopped shivering.

They all began to drift off, not noticing that a certain spy had entered the room.


	6. Natasha's Being Weird

“So, where is everyone?” Bruce asked when Natasha entered the room.

“They’re all up on Steve’s floor,” she replied, perching on the arm of his chair.

Bruce’s eyebrows furrowed. “Should we be up there too?” he asked.

Natasha shook her head. “I don’t think so.” She ran her fingers through Bruce’s hair. “Steve isn’t doing too well emotionally.”

“That must be why Tony hasn’t left him alone lately,” Bruce said thoughtfully. 

There was a pause before Natasha said, “I can’t believe I didn’t notice.”

“It’s not your fault,” Bruce reassured her. “None of us did.”

“I should have.”

{+}

Natasha was staring at him.

Steve glanced over at her uncomfortably. “Do I have something on my face?” he asked.

Natasha just shook her head.

“Okay, then,” Steve said, turning back to his sketchbook.

{+}

The next Movie Night, Natasha pushed Tony out of the way and sat in Steve’s lap.

“Hey!” Tony protested. “I was going to sit there.”

“Deal with it,” Natasha retorted, crossing her arms.

“Fine,” Tony sniffed. He went over to Bruce and flopped on top of him. “Cuddle me Brucie.”

Bruce just shook his head and did as he was told.

{+}

“Okay, what is this all about?” Steve asked when Natasha jumped on his back for a piggyback ride after the next battle.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Natasha replied.

“This,” Steve said. “You being so… affectionate.”

Natasha shrugged. “I just feel like it.”

Eyeing her warily, Steve said, “I don’t believe you, but I don’t think you’ll give me a straight answer, so I’ll accept it.”

{+}

“You’re making Steve uncomfortable,” Bruce said, not looking away from his notes.

“No, I’m not,” Natasha said. “I _was_ making him uncomfortable. Now he’s used to it.”

“As he should be.”

{+}

Natasha’s antics didn’t prepare Steve for when Bruce started leaning on him at random moments.


	7. A New Friend

Steve wasn’t used to all this attention.

The whole team was being so nice, giving him hugs and taking him out to dinner as often as they could, but sometimes, all he wanted was to be left alone. 

The problem was that he would have to leave the tower to get away from them, and he was terrified of going outside.

{+}

“Hey, are you okay, man?”

Steve looked up from where he was hiding behind his sketchpad. He had chosen this bench because it was secluded. It was just a happy coincidence that the back of it was against the wall of a gardener’s building.

“I’m fine,” Steve replied, surveying the man. He was dark skinned and was dressed in a sweatshirt, tennis shoes, and basketball shorts.

“Mind if I sit?” the man asked, gesturing to the other end of the bench.

Steve shook his head, scooting a bit closer to the armrest. The man sat and held his hand out. “Sam Wilson,” he introduced.

“Steve Rogers,” replied Steve, shaking his hand. He braced himself for the inevitable freakout his name often caused, but it never came. 

A brief look of recognition crossed Sam’s face before he turned to look back out at the park. Steve stared at him for a moment before looking back down at his sketchbook. It looked as if he wouldn’t be able to finish his drawing of the tree across the path with the increase of foot traffic as it got to be lunch time.

Just as Steve began to get twitchy, Sam said, “Want to go somewhere there’s less people? They’re making me edgy.”

Steve nodded, slightly surprised, but followed Sam when he got up and began making his way down the path.

{+}

“Where’s Steve?” Bruce asked, walking into Tony’s workshop.

“He was in Central Park, but now he’s in a little cafe,” Tony replied, glancing at the holographic map that was floating by the wall.

Bruce sat down beside him. “Does Steve know you put a tracker on him?”

“No,” Tony replied guiltily. “And I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Why did you do it?” Bruce asked curiously.

“I was worried,” Tony replied, staring at the glowing dot on the map.

Bruce examined him for a moment. “You really like him, don’t you?”

“I do,” Tony said quietly. “I really do.” He sighed and slumped over, resting his head on Bruce’s shoulder. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Normally I’d advise you to tell him, but I don’t know if he’s ready for that yet,” Bruce said, leaning his head on Tony’s and rubbing his arm. “But I do think you should talk to him.”

“I’m not so good at feelings,” Tony said. “Especially not talking about them.”

Bruce smiled gently. “I’ve noticed.”

Tony looked up at him. “Can’t you talk to him for me?”

“Nice try.”


End file.
